So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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