I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
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The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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