he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
