Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
