having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We need to get me chipped asap
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
