you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
