I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
