yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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