So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
