Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize