Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
