it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
