Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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