ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
