I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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