Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
