shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
