I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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