On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
