well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
