Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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