Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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