If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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