Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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