how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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