I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
