idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
