508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
