I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
