I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
