also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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