so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
