Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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