this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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