i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
