U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
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I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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