We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize