Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
