What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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