you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
