was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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