Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
