It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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