I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
