haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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