"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize