i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
