Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
