we have officially lost it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
