i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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