haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
