I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.