Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.