I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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