i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
