This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
