last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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