Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
