There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
