His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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