super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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