you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Pooping to opera.
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