I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
