Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
